Demi Lovato Broke Sobriety, So Basically, Wasn’t Sober

June 21, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

The soap opera that is Demi Lovato's "will they, won't they" relationship with booze and drugs has, like most soap operas, overstayed its welcome. Last October we covered some of the best celeb one-liners about cocaine ever, which came... READ MORE

Natalie Portman Wants You To Put Your Meat Down

June 21, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Vegans are the Jehovah Witnesses of the culinary world. When you question the reason for their questionably strict lifestyle it’s always some sanctimonious response about how their diet and habits are naturally preferred by refined human beings. I’ll stick... READ MORE

Bella Thorne Born To Bang Instagram Babes

June 21, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

The name Bella boils down to beautiful, something Thorne has a hard time being. To be considered a beautiful woman you actually need to own a pulse. And Bella Thorne has yet to prove that she’s more than a... READ MORE

Johnny Depp World’s Oldest Emo Kid In Bizarrely Candid Interview

June 21, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

In the words of Depp's favorite artist: "He was a skater boy. She said see you later boy. He wasn't good enough for her." READ MORE

Samuel L. Jackson Walks The Thin Gay Shaming Line

June 21, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

It’s pride month. And apparently that means no one is to patronize Chic Fil A, or make any suggestions that a heterosexual man performed oral sex on another heterosexual man as a means to be offensive. Are we still... READ MORE

Nobody Lily-Rose Depp Teen Pasty Party

June 20, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

  The fact that we live in a world where anyone gives a shit about Lily-Rose Depp is truly a testament to the power of teen tits. This is not something anyone should necessarily be proud of, but I do... READ MORE

Mindy Kaling Blaming White Men For Ocean’s 8’s Demise

June 20, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

The idea that everyone is to blame but me is way past its expiration date. It’s breeding an attitude that protected classes can operate with complete impunity. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how we arrived at the release... READ MORE

All My Children Actress Says Times Up For Gender Bias

June 20, 2018 | bikini | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I automatically assume if you’re a man that secretly watches soap operas you have other skeletons in your closet the same size of the dinosaurs on display at The Museum of Natural History. For everyone else not familiar with... READ MORE

Amy Adams Sucks

June 20, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Everyone except the 1% of Hollywood royalty continues to get poked and prodded and grabbed. It's an uber-competitive, unregulated, cutthroat industry that requires people to relinquish their dignity in order to succeed. Getting grabbed is the least of ol'... READ MORE

Pete Davidson, Ariana Grande Move Into $16 Million Condo, Get Matching Tattoos, Post Tons Of Videos, Seem Stable

June 20, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Nothing says Stable Mabel like making rapid-fire life decisions with a recovering addict, which is why everyone should be unwaveringly happy for Ariana Grande, and should definitely encourage her to go even faster and further with her relationship with... READ MORE