Yesterday Lady Gaga starred in her own Insta photo shoot looking like one of those washed up tangled masses of seaweed, garbage, and small animal carcasses. Or just like a whale caught up in fishing net. Or a D-list Times Square Princess Leia impersonator on a bender. Or like, you know, a fat ugly desperate former celebrity. However you slice it, Gaga is at the point in her life when bikini pics feel more defiant than celebratory. Squeezing her bubbling frame into a thong is more akin to Lena Dunham baring her double stuffed hair pie on Girls than a hot celebrity showing something we want to see. She’s a Real Housewife celebrating her fiftieth birthday in style.
Gaga is currently still playing out her Joanne era fantasy in front of audiences wondering how a horse was able to put on a pink cowboy hat. These pics were snapped in Miami during a stop on her Joanne World Tour, and while Miami is legitimately known for its hot people and beautiful beaches, these could have been snapped at a hooker convention on Myrtle Beach and I wouldn’t bat an eye. Ah yes our catch of the day is delusional skank bucket.
Photo Credit: Instagram